Everyone knows a bridezilla—you know, the bride who thinks the whole world exists solely to serve her and is so self-absorbed that the chances of her wedding lasting longer than a day are slim. But…what if you’re actually the bridezilla, but don’t know it? Here are some signs from John Huber, M.D., a mental health professional and clinical forensic psychologist for more than 20 years:
- You’re Constantly Angry
If you’re repeatedly lashing out at your wedding party, spouse and even inanimate objects, please note that this not behavior normally attributed to a mentally healthy individual.
- Your Registry Is More Expensive Than A Year Of College
Asking wedding guests for items such as a toaster, frying pan, soap dispenser and others along the like is reasonable. Asking guests for all-paid vacations to the Caribbean, gold-plated utensils, expecting a set amount of cash, and other demands along the like is disrespectful and irrational.
- You’re Becoming A Mean Person
You don’t say thank-you. You go out of your way to belittle people. Your behavior takes on that of third-world dictator.
- Your Bridesmaids Defriend You
Suddenly those who you considered to be part of your inner circle cannot make your wedding. On top of that, they are not returning your phone calls and are even blocking you on social media.
- Your Family and Friends Start Seeing A Therapist
When you are directly responsible for an economic boom in the mental health profession, there’s a good chance that you are a Bridezilla / Groomzilla. Dealing with someone who is intensely negative on a regular basis can push some individuals into therapy.
A Psychological Analysis
While each case differs, a Bridezilla tends to have control issues. Maybe they’ve had earlier life experiences where a lack of control made them feel sad or ashamed. People with control issues can feel the need to micomanage and dominate everything, and this can play out during planning a wedding.
As far as Bridezillas who are callous to others, there is never an excuse to treat others poorly. The demanding, mean-spirited nature of some individuals can be traced back to their childhood. If they got what the wanted after screaming and crying then, they’re probably just doing what they come to know what works.
Also a Bridezilla may have large ego that has gone rogue and gone wild. Sometimes no amount of adoration or attention will satisfy an ego. When an individual does not have the self-control to keep the impulses of their ego in check, they can act out in unusual ways.
How To Deal With a Bridezilla
The first thing a person should realize is if your fiancé, sister, daughter, friend or family member is acting like a Bridezilla , they are not mentally healthy right now. Severe stress, anxiety and peer pressure can all take a taxing toll on an individual’s mindset. At first, be patient with your Bridezilla. Some people go through a brief Bridezilla phase but do not remain that way for the duration leading up to the wedding.
However, if you have a long-term Bridezilla on your hands, you need to ask yourself: “Is being around this Bridezilla having negative consequences on my emotional well-being?” If the answer is yes, then a suggestion would be to confront the Bridezilla and tell them how they are making you feel and that you demand they treat you with respect. If you get anything less than an apology or a promise from them that they’ll try to do better, you might want to consider suspending or severing the relationship with them.
People have a tendency to treat others the same way. If your Bridezilla is belittling the wedding planner, waitress or anyone for that matter, it’s probably only a matter of time before they’ll act that way toward you. You should use your best judgment. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect.
About Dr. Huber
Dr. John Huber
is the chairman for Mainstream Mental Health, a non-profit organization that brings lasting and positive change to the lives of individuals that suffer from mental health issues. A mental health professional for over 20 years, Dr. Huber is a clinical forensic psychologist, and he is a practitioner with privileges at two long term acute care hospitals. Dr. Huber has appeared on more than 300 top-tier radio shows (NBC Radio, CBS, Fox News Radio) and 30 national television programs (ABC, NBC, Spectrum News). In addition, Dr. Huber is the host of “Mainstream Mental Health Radio,” which is heard nationwide and features interviews with today’s top mental health professionals.
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