Posted on March 27, 2024 by Kyle Phillippi
At the time of our engagement, I watched as my wife took on many of her checklist items while my list as the groom-to-be paled in comparison. That’s how the idea of a joint bachelor and bachelorette party came to be for us. We originally had plans for separate parties at different locations but we eventually settled on driving down to Ocean City, Maryland, for a weekend getaway.
Both my wife and I were born and bred in New Jersey and attended Rutgers University and Rowan University, respectively. This is the place where we are choosing to raise our family. We saw this moment, though, as an opportunity to take our plans outside the Garden State with our closest friends.
After all, we were able to secure a five-room house along a river for all 12 of our friends plus the two of us to comfortably spend the weekend. With that amount of people, it became a super affordable option. One note when dealing with a group of this size: consider carpooling if possible.
As someone who likes to plan everything ahead, here are the reasons I presented this idea to my wife-to-be.
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Nowadays, brides and grooms are often involved in the planning process of their own bachelor and bachelorette parties. It’s just one more thing on the plate of the future couple. By combining our separate parties into one extravaganza, we eliminated something to plan.
Over time, couples mesh their friend groups. I realized our friends have all hung out before. They all get along. There were even two bridesmaids whose significant others were in my party. Running with a joint party makes even more sense when these things are true.
Bachelor and bachelorette parties are just two more things that rack up the bill before your wedding day. By combining these into one larger trip, the cost for everything went down for us. The rental house became a very minor expense with so many people contributing. The cost of things like food, alcohol and decorations also lessened as there were more people involved. This reason alone could be enough to justify the joint party route.
There’s a false belief that doing a combined party means the future couple misses out on that final night with their friends. You can still schedule one night where you each head out to a bar or do an activity during the day with your own friend group. Just like your future life in marriage, you don’t have to be together 24/7. A joint party still lends itself to plenty of opportunities to have your own mini bachelor and bachelorette parties. For us, one night the guys hit the bar and had a cornhole tournament while the women headed to the beach and a margarita bar.
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That being said, it’s a lot of fun being able to share the moment with your future spouse. I understand the “one last night out” concept that comes with these types of parties. We certainly experienced some people outside our inner circle who questioned our decision to “skip” out on the traditional bachelor and bachelorette experience. Looking back on the decision, we wouldn’t do it any other way. Seeing all of our closest friends interact and make their own friendships while we got to take it all in together truly was the best way to close out our engagement phase and head into our wedding day.
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