Planning a wedding is both exciting and stressful. It is a unique time in your relationship where you are focusing on taking the next step in life together with your partner, while you are also trying to figure out seating arrangements and how much you’re going to spend on flowers. It is easy to get caught up in the planning and miss out on this unique time in your relationship, but it is important to take time for yourself, so you are better able to stay present throughout the entire process. Here, Robia Smith-Herman, LCSW, team leader and student supervisor at The Renfrew Center shares tips and advice on how to take care of yourself and significant other during wedding planning.

A good rule of thumb is for every three wedding activities you do, you have one activity that has nothing to do with the wedding, that focuses on taking care of yourself or spending time with your significant other.

Be aware of red flags

Eating disorders and disordered eating can often be disguised as wellness. This is especially true when planning a wedding. Watch out for bridal boot camps, 21-day pre-wedding diets, bridal juice cleanses or anything else that can promote eating disorders or disordered eating. Anything that includes skipping meals or using meal replacement items, eliminating food groups, detox teas or laxatives, and exercising excessively is not a safe plan. If you find yourself or your loved one engaging in those behaviors, it is important to recognize they are not healthy behaviors that are a part of a wedding diet but could in fact be symptoms of an eating disorder. You can reach out to a professional who is experienced in diagnosing and treating eating disorders to provide a full assessment and recommendation for treatment options.

Practice self-acceptance

There is a saying that “a picture has the magic to capture a moment for a lifetime.” It can be easy to fixate on the idea that your wedding photos are something you are going to look at for the rest of your life and want to make sure you look your best.

This is especially relevant when it comes time to “say yes to the dress.” Your significant other loves you for you, so do not deviate significantly from your current dress size. Choosing a dress that does not fit can create an unrealistic expectation that you should be a size or shape your body is not meant to be. Try to remember the dress is supposed to fit you, not the other way around. When you try to change the way your body is, it can result in a sense of defeat on the big day. Instead, work to accept your body as it is and see it the way your significant other does. Picking a dress that allows you to feel like yourself and that you are truly comfortable in is going to shine through in your pictures.

Rather than restricting in the months and days leading up to the wedding, try caring for your body through balance and varied meals. Eliminating foods from your diet does not work in the long term and attaches negative judgment to food. Incorporating healthy, moderate activity can allow you to feel more energized, rather than exercising to change your body. Look to find other ways to practice self-acceptance like massages, meditation, and mindfulness.

Surround yourself and welcome advice from the people who love you

The people around you on your wedding day will be your closest friends and your loving family. Make sure you focus on those individuals who are supporting you and your significant other in having a day filled with fun and love, and helping you create wonderful memories. Be cautious of those who are just trying to sell you something, rather than those who genuinely want to see you happy on one of the most important days in your relationship!