So have you heard about the guy in Atlanta who is trying to raise $15,000 on GoFundMe.com for an engagement ring for his fiancé? Here’s a part of William Oliver’s pitch for a ring for Alexandra:
By donating $5 dollars or more we can get this campaign trending. I need alot of people to donate a little amount NOT necessarily a little bit of people to donate alot of money. This campaign needs to TREND!
I’ve decided to utilize GoFundMe to let everybody who loves us show us.
Sometimes we can’t quite afford expensive things by ourselves. A lot of people lean on credit card companies and banks (that overcharge them) so that they appear to do nice things for people they love by themselves. My approach is a little different. We have friends, family, and colleagues that don’t mind passing up a drink or a sandwich to help out. Anything helps. All proceeds will go to the purchase of a beautiful engagement ring one that WE ALL can be proud of. Call me crazy but Love is Free Not Engagement Rings and Weddings. It’s been quite the internet gossip for the past day or so…and unearths up many questions. Such as:
Who crowd-funds an engagement ring? Our opinion is that an engagement ring should NEVER be crowd-funded! A wedding proposal is not about the value of a ring, but the love shared between the person giving it and the person receiving it. And if he/she can’t afford an expensive ring, that’s OK. Some of our favorite rings are paperclips, rings from gumball machines and scraps of ribbon. Seriously!! These tokens represent love and commitment, not superficial displays of wealth. Wait for the big ring when you can afford it—if that’s what’s important to you. But the most important element should be the loved shared between the two of you.
Shouldn’t he purchase a ring he can afford rather than get others to pay for it? You can find really beautiful rings for less than $5,000. So I’m not sure why he can’t take a second job, deliver pizza, bartend on weekends or forego dinners out for the year in order to save up. I’m not liking the foreshadowing that this is creating in my mind. When the washing machine breaks five years into marriage, will he crowd-fund that also? Take responsibility for your life…and grow up. Being an adult costs money. If you don’t have the money—or are placing value on things you can’t afford—maybe you need to mature a bit before you get married and start sharing your life with someone else.
When is crowd-funding appropriate for your wedding? In my mind, never. If you’re not raising money for a charity or a family dealing with a life-threatening illness, stay off of these crowd-funding sites for wedding purposes. I know many people crowd-fund portions of their weddings and honeymoons, but this is really poor etiquette. If you can’t afford it, don’t do it. There are so many ways to cut down costs on your wedding…and so many alternatives. Don’t take the crass way out and ask others for money. It’s just not becoming of a bride and groom.
Will friends and family be offended? If they’re normal people, YES! Why should they suddenly be paying for their friend’s ring? It’s not their responsibility “to purchase a beautiful engagement ring one that WE ALL can be proud of.” Give me a break. Will they ALL be going on the honeymoon, too?
Apparently others think so too, since he’s only up to $600, even with national media attention.