While speaking with a premier New Jersey floral designer, I was captivated by her stories about the painstaking effort thatRead More
We’re not talking about frosted cookies with insults iced on them or your personalized microbrew favors given an X-rated name. We’re talking about the very insulting practice that I’ve seen at three weddings now: The bride and groom handing out small favor boxes to their friends and colleagues, and then appearing with really big, completely different favor boxes for their “big-ticket guests”…the ones who are likely to write a $500+ wedding gift check. Tacky, huh? Your high school friends get a frosted cookie. And your more “valued” guests get a Tiffany vase. Oh, no, no, no. Imagine, just imagine, how offended your friends would be if they saw those VIP guests opening their favors at the next table, oohing and aahing at your fabulous taste. And they have a cracked cookie in their hands. They traveled far to attend your big day, they’ve booked a hotel room, they’ve taken a day off of work or left their kids behind to honor your Adults-Only reception rule. They’re just as important as your millionaire aunt who let you wear her diamond earrings on your wedding day. No guest is more important than another, so don’t risk wrecking relationships and making the worst impression possible at the end of your beautiful wedding celebration. Because it’s not the cookie that registers with them. It’s that you’ve ranked them. Even the guests who get the Tiffany vase will look around—seeing dozens of nearby guests frowning, looking at the cookie in their hands, and looking at their vases—and feel awful. You’ve put them in a bad spot, and they too may think badly of your decision. Those in-laws and your husband’s bosses and co-workers will always remember you as the bride who ranks people. And you’re never getting a hug at the office holiday party. At one of the weddings I attended, where the bride presented her more honored guests with bigger, more exorbitant favors, the groom had no idea that was about to happen. And his family and friends got the cookies. I don’t even know if that bride and groom left the wedding together that night. So make it cookies for everyone—or whatever your favor of choice may bedifferent perhaps in frosting colors and flavors only, but equally pleasing to all of your guests…who are equals.