Amy and Matt at The Grove

Posted on January 06, 2023 by New Jersey Bride

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How did you meet?
Online! Matt was in dental school and I’d recently started my first job out of college. We both lived in NYC and it was the early days of mainstream dating apps. I’m not a big drinker and was getting bored with dates always inviting me out for a drink. Then, this cute dental student invited me to coffee. I thought it was fate. He showed up still in scrubs because his case ran long. For months, I bragged about how we were meant to be because he invited me to coffee and not drinks. Finally, he admitted that that was his go-to move with online dates: coffee costs $3 and a drink costs $14. He wanted to make sure someone he met online was worth the investment. Instead of being offended, I decided this meant that I’d fallen in love with a financially conscious man, and that’s a big plus in my book.

How did you get engaged?
We got engaged in August of 2020. The height of covid in NYC. Matt was in residency, so was working pretty long and awful hours taking care of covid patients. He finally got a weekend off and we planned to go for a hike with our Shih Tzu, Logan. Unbeknownst to me, Matt had a whole plan that ended with us at the top of a mountain at sunset where he planned to propose. Then, two days before, a tropical storm hit New York – closing every mountain for the weekend. The night before, as I’m trying to talk him out of it and saying we should just stay home and watch movies, he searched every site online and found one hike – Hook Mountain in New Jersey – that was open. On our walk up, I noticed he was being pretty quiet and looking around a lot. Then, on our way back, he suggested we take a turn off the path down to the river. He said he was grabbing water out of his bag and got down on his knees. I didn’t notice him take a box out because our dog started jumping all over him and freaking out because of the water. When I finally calmed our dog down, he was on one knee with a box. He opened the box – upside down – and the ring fell out! When we finally found the ring, and Matt put it on my finger, I realized he’d never actually asked. I made him ask again and I started screaming YES! A few strangers standing around – all more than six feet away – started cheering. The funniest part is that apparently, I signed for the package that the ring was in a few weeks before. Because of the pandemic, Matt ended up having to order the ring online. He planned to be home the day of the delivery (I was working from home full-time) so he could get it without me seeing. But, he got called into work for an emergency. He told me he had new surgical loops being delivered and to just leave the box on his desk. I didn’t think twice until he told me after the proposal.

Details of the day!
We wanted the wedding to really feel like us. We incorporated our cultures – Chinese and Jewish – and dozens of personal details throughout the entire day. The afternoon started with a private Chinese Tea Ceremony with our family and the bridal party. This is a tradition where the groom’s family welcomes the bride and her family into their family. My Mother in Law purchased decorations and our beautiful traditional outfits in China Town. Everything was red and gold. Then, for the ceremony, we incorporated my Jewish background with a beautiful chuppah and smashing of the glass at the end. We decided to modernize this by both breaking the glass, instead of just the groom. I collected the broken glass and am making candlestick holders with the fragments. Our colors for the ceremony and reception were a blend of different shades of reds and purples. During the cocktail hour, we had cocktail napkins with “fun facts” about us. For example, where we said I love you for the first time or that our dog was named after Wolverine from x-man, one of our favorite movies. We also included our pup by having drink stirrers with his face on them. During the reception, we worked with our DJ to include as much dancing time as possible. This started with our first dance – All of Me by John Legend – which we choreographed together. For my father-daughter dance, my dad picked the song California Girls by The Beach Boys (I’m from Santa Cruz, CA). He worked with a choreographer to create a really fun swing dance. Since we don’t live in the same state, he taught me the steps the week of the wedding. The whole crowd was laughing watching us swing and skip around the floor. Another fun touch during the reception was a surprise lip sync dance performance by my best friend/officiant and me. We both love broadway and karaoke and the song Take Me Or Leave Me from Rent has become our go-to song. So, I surprised him by asking my DJ to announce that Amy had a special song for Jesse. When it came on, we both – totally unplanned – began a full-on performance. My videographer got it all on tape. All of the guests were both confused and amused. Win-win, in my book. At the end of the night, we had a station of homemade cookies for guests to take home. I had bags made with our wedding emblem (designed by my dad) on one side and our “recipe” on the back. Our guests thought it was so cute. Since about 80% of our guests came from out of town, I used our hotel welcome bags as favors. Along with some snacks, Advil, and water bottles (with a custom band sticker with our date and wedding emblem), I included toothbrushes with a note. My husband is an oral surgeon and I am a marketer. So, the toothbrushes had our date and hashtag and the note tied to each said “This is what you get when an oral surgeon marries a marketer.” Everyone said how useful and unique this was. I had to order in bulk, so I think I’ll be brushing my teeth with these for the rest of my life!

Why did you choose your venue?
The Grove is absolutely stunning and looks like a fairytale palace inside. I was in love the moment I saw it. However, it was actually a more practical reason that sealed the deal. Getting engaged during covid meant that I’d seen too many friends have to postpone their wedding. I’d seen the sometimes impossible struggle of trying to re-coordinate all of the vendors for a new date. The Grove felt very “all-inclusive,” and I really liked that. Catering is done in-house (and my guests are STILL talking about the food!), they provide all furniture, and they have an incredible staff that acts as day-of coordinators. Also, they have beautiful indoor and outdoor spaces for the ceremony, so we wouldn’t have to move our guests. Finally, they have a whole suite for getting ready with mirrors and chairs for makeup, fun couches, and lights for photos, and we could leave our bags there for the whole day and night. I didn’t hire a wedding planner but with help from the staff at The Grove, I never felt lost or stressed. They helped make it so fun and seamless.

What was on your menu?
The Grove’s food was incredible. All of it! They were also so accommodating, as we had a lot of allergies and preferences that needed to be met. For example, half the bridesmaids were vegan and the father of the bride has celiac, a severe gluten allergy. We wanted to accommodate everyone and make sure they felt comfortable. So, The Grove made sure everything was labeled and trained the staff on ingredients to be able to answer questions. For our Cocktail Hour stations, we had a Poke Bar, Mashed Potato Bar, Carving Station, Peking duck and dumplings. Our Signature Drinks were Amy’s Speedy Sangria (I’m a runner) and Matt’s Muscular Margarita (My husband is a weightlifter). For dinner, our options were Seabass, Roasted Chicken, Steak and a Vegan option. We got our cake from Palermo’s bakery. They do at-home cake-tasting boxes. We invited over our parents and a few friends to try everything and then selected chocolate mousse and dulce de leche!

All about your gown!
I had two dresses: a red cheongsam for the tea ceremony and a gown from Morilee by Madeline Gardner for my wedding ceremony. The red dress I got at a boutique in China Town in San Francisco. It was a small store and the owner helped me try on a bunch of styles and was so helpful. Unfortunately because of the pandemic, my mother-in-law wasn’t able to come shopping with me, so I’m really fortunate that this shop owner was so helpful. Before shopping for my wedding gown, I’d been favoriting dozens of styles on Pinterest. I was really fortunate that right after we got vaccinated I was able to travel to San Jose, CA to visit my parents. I went shopping with my mom, grandma, aunt, and best friend/maid of honor. We went to Trudy’s Bridal and I showed them my Pinterest board. I’d favorited a few Morilee dresses, and they just so happened to have a few in stock. The dress I chose was the second one I tried on! I continued trying on a few other styles like a giant poofy skirt, a silk strapless, and a few with lace tops. But, I kept coming back to the Sansa dress. I just loved the detailed appliqués and the mesh neckline. It was and still is “the one!”

What was your favorite moment?
Seeing both of our grandmothers (both in their late 90’s) out on the dance floor having so much fun. Both grandmas had to travel in from out of state, so their attendance was questionable until the last moment. BUT, both made it and spent the day with us getting ready and taking photos, and then we were on the dance floor most of the night dancing with their children and grandchildren. It was beautiful. My husband’s grandmother said it was the best party she’d ever been to!

One detail you couldn’t live without?
This sounds so silly, but I always loved looking at the “getting ready” pictures of brides and their bridesmaids. I’ve had the same group of best friends since childhood and they all flew in for the weekend. I got us all matching PJs and jewelry and slippers and we made a whole morning of getting ready together. My photographer made sure we were having fun and got so many cute pictures of all of us. Having them with me from start to finish was a MUST, and it all worked perfectly.

Did anything go wrong?
I’m not even sure if this counts since the guests thought it was hilarious. My dog, Logan, was our ring bearer. He’s a 5-year-old Shih Tzu. We got him a tuxedo and pillow and everything! I hired a dog walker to take care of him during the day and make sure he was ready to run down the aisle. My husband had treats in his pocket and called his name. However, Logan ran in the wrong direction and decided to stop and say hi to all the guests he recognized along the way down the aisle. We have a few photos of friends pushing him along. I didn’t get to see this happen, since I was waiting outside of the room to enter with my parents. All of a sudden I hear the whole room explode into laughter and start applauding. Logan absolutely stole the moment, but I think I can forgive him since he looked SO cute in his tux!

First dance song?
All of Me by John Legend. We both love dancing and choreographed our own dance. Then, our DJ used smoke effects to look like we were dancing on clouds. Also, the DJ set off the sparklers at the height of the song. Everyone started cheering. The photos and videos look so amazing!

Any advice for future brides?
I LOVE my spreadsheets and made them for everything! Budget – with detailed expectations and actuals to make sure we stayed within our chosen budget. Vendors and contact info. Timelines. Guests. Everything! I didn’t have a wedding planner. So, for the day of planning, I made a full list of every decoration – with pictures – and where and when it should be set up throughout the day. I reviewed this with my venue a few days before the wedding and clarified any questions they had. They listened and did it all! The Grove staff was so amazing to work with. My bridal attendant, Emma, was there to handle ANYTHING that came up! I never felt stressed the whole day. It was magical!

Honeymoon Location?
We’re planning on Greece this spring. I put so much time and energy and emotion into planning our wedding. I knew I’d need a new project once the wedding was done. We’re doing a few local long weekends this summer but spending the next few months planning our dream honeymoon.

Photographer
Jen Marvel was an absolute dream! She did our engagement shoot and my boudoir shoot. She made all of the shoots so fun and the photos are absolutely stunning. For the wedding, she brought a second photographer and they made sure to get EVERYTHING we wanted during the 10 hours of shooting. She made us feel natural and had us laughing the whole time. We didn’t feel posed or fake.