This is a common fear that many brides encounter. After all, what plays well to group of twenty-somethings at one o’clock in the morning is not exactly the same material you’d want retold at your wedding. As much as he may think otherwise, that hysterical story from college fraternity days just won’t have the same effect when told to 200 of your closest friends and family. And your wedding day is certainly not the time for you to hear of prior antics for the first time.

So read through our suggestions, and emphatically insist that the best man follow our simple guide to writing a toast so that it will be memorable for all the right reasons. And remember that wedding toasts are not what they used to be. These days it’s all about creativity and “customizing” all the details of your day. So if you really can’t trust the best man with the mike, get in on the act and toast each other!

Don’t Drink & Toast

Certainly we’ve all witnessed the nightmare of a best man who’s had one too many toasting the married couple. This is clearly not what you want your guests to remember about your wedding day. In fact, Diana Crisci, senior vice president of catering sales at Ome Caterers in Manhattan and Whippany (973-560-4540; omecaterers.com), has seen her share of forgettable toasts and says it’s critical to stay sober until after you’re finished. Crisci also suggests the following dos and don’ts:

• Do keep your jacket and tie on (if you are the best man) or at least stay as put together as possible.
• Do wish the happy couple a lifetime of happiness. It’s best not to say anything about children, as that can sometimes be a sensitive issue.
• Do share a sweet story about either or both, keeping it simple and tasteful.
• Don’t talk about ex-boyfriends or girlfriends.
• Don’t be negative.
• “Be sure to tell your band leader or deejay that they should not allow any other guest to give a toast without discussing it with you first,” adds Crisci.

The ABCs of Wedding Toasts

First and foremost, determine the order of who’s doing what, and inform the speakers so they are not at the bar when it’s their time to shine. Scheduling the toasts at a time when you have a captive audience is key. Many couples decide to do this after the first dance or right before dinner is served.

If you’re giving the toast, take some time weeks before the big day and write down your thoughts. You may have a myriad of feelings about the couple but are unable to put them into words. Here are some ideas to set the wheels in motion: What do friends and family say about the couple? Why do they complement each other so well? Do they have shared interests or passions? Are they more Romeo and Juliet or Bonnie and Clyde?

Take a walk down memory lane in your toast, and don’t forget to explain your connection to the newlyweds. The most memorable toasts include personal stories that can still be appreciated by the guests. One best man we know recited a “Top 10” list of why he thought the newlyweds were so perfect together. When in doubt—use humor. The final gesture is to raise your glass and drink to the newlyweds. Remember (if you’re especially nervous) that this is not about you. You only get one shot at making the toast, so stay calm and remember to speak slowly.

Andy Bott, co-owner of Merri-Makers Caterers in Edison with six locations at the Jersey Shore (732-225-0009; merrimakers.com) recalls a creative toast that included a clever prop made by the best man. “He said he was up all night writing the toast and he promised that it wouldn’t be too long,” says Bott. “Then he took a stack of accordion fashion print-out computer paper and dropped it to the floor. When the guests’ laughter subsided he gave a very sincere and short toast.”

For more tips on hiring a caterer, including kosher caterers and ethnic celebrations, see newjerseybride.com.

Northern N.J.

Aliperti’s Restaurant and Catering
1189 Raritan Road, Clark
732-381-2300
alipertisrestaurant.com

For the past thirty years, Aliperti’s has specialized in Italian/French cuisine. Chef/owner Garry Ruane is a graduate of the Culinary Institute of America. Aliperti’s can accommodate a party off-premise from 20 to 1,000 people; it is the exclusive caterer at Gran Centurions in Clark, and the Kenilworth Inn in Kenilworth, whose ballrooms accommodates up to 400. On-premise, they can accommodate 75.

Celsos Caterers
236 Ridgedale Avenue, Cedar Knolls
973-829-1833
crossedkeysinn.com

This chef-owned catering company specializes in weddings at homes, mansions, historic sites, tents, and tented outdoor receptions at the Crossed Keys Inn in Sussex County. Celsos customizes menus to meet each client’s needs. Kosher catering is available. The firm provides complete event planning, including flowers, music, tents, and rentals.

Frungillo Caterers
90 Route 46 East, Mountain Lakes
973-256-9380
frungillo.com

Frungillo combines personal service with years of experience. They specialize in mansion settings, garden and lawn weddings, and castles, and are the exclusive caterer for the Villa at Mountain Lakes, Oakeside Mansion in Bloomfield, the Castle at Skylands Manor, and the Mezzanine in Newark. They also offer off-site catering.

Laurence Craig
Distinctive Celebrations
1799 Springfield Avenue, Maplewood
973-761-0190
laurencecraigcatering.com

Laurence Craig specializes in expertly crafted events featuring innovative cuisine. Known for attention to detail, unique presentation, and poised service, they offer full-service catering and event planning.

Meadow Wood Manor
Catering
461 Route 10 East, Randolph
973-537-5454
meadowwoodmanor.com

Also known as Growth Catering or Positively Picnics, Meadow Wood Manor’s off-premise catering division can cater your wedding. With 23 years of experience as custom caterers throughout New Jersey, they specialize in creative food selections and presentation, friendly professional staff, and event coordination.

Ome Caterers
40 South Jefferson Road
Whippany
973-560-4540
omecaterers.com

Serve your wedding guests the best. Ome Caterers offers you four-star contemporary American cuisine, using only the finest and freshest ingredients under the direct supervision of one of New Jersey’s best chefs, Craig Shelton.

Signature Creations
628 West St. George Avenue
Linden
908-486-7889
signaturecreationscaterers.com

Signature Creations is an off-premise kosher caterer specializing in weddings, bar and bat mitzvahs, kiddushes, brises, and corporate events. They are affiliated with hundreds of venues, from hotels and country clubs to synagogues and unconventional venues. They tailor the menu for your taste, budget, and type of event. They can arrange for all rentals and will provide fully equipped, kosher kitchens.

CENTRAL N.J.
Chez Alice
Catering Company
Princeton
609-586-5050
chezalice.com

This full-service off-premise caterer and wedding coordinator, in business since 1991, can create your event from beginning to end. They are a certified kosher caterer at Adath Israel in Lawrenceville. They also provide full catering services exclusively for the café at the Princeton Public Library, Grounds for Sculpture, and Chimney Hill Bed and Breakfast.

Jacques Exclusive Caterers
403 Highway 36, Hazlet
732-495-2600 or
866-522-7837
jacquescatering.com

Wedding receptions by this full-service off-premise caterer include a cocktail hour, international menu, tiered wedding cake, china, table linens, and full-service staff; prices start at $47 per guest for full service. Popular entrées include fettucine Alfredo and Châteaubriand. Jacques Exclusive Caterers was established in Brooklyn in 1955 and has been serving the Garden State since 1981.

Linda M. Walton Catering
1034 Ocean Avenue, Sea Bright
732-530-6358

This sixteen-year-old establishment not only will provide food but also will coordinate your entire wedding day. Owner Linda Walton will develop timetables, draw up floor plans, and arrange for party rentals. Food prices start at $40 per person. The company can handle up to 800 guests.

Monterey Gourmet
167 Morristown Road
Bernardsville
908-766-2000
montereygourmetshops.com

Monterey Gourmet, with more than 20 years of experience, offers full-service, off-premise catering. They offer a wide variety of dishes and specialize in custom menus. Monterey Gourmet can assist with site selection, tents, rentals, full bars, professional servers, flowers, music, entertainment, and valet parking. Prices start at $35 per person. Specialties include pecan-encrusted Chilean sea bass and grilled tuna kabobs with lime butter. They will travel throughout the tristate.

Protégé Catering
1251 Route 202/206Bridgewater
908-658-3000
protegecatering.com

In 1988 the Vizzoni family introduced the Bridewater Manor to central New Jersey. As requests for Bridgewater Manor to cater off premises grew, Protege was created. Their focus is on providing fresh, imaginative, and beautifully presented food for any occasion. The staff will create your vision through complete planning and execution. Protege can also help you with site selection, entertainment, theme and decor, lighting, floral, transportation, and rentals.

The Ultimate Caterer
52C North Main Street, Marlboro
732-577-0490
ultimatecaterer.com

The Ultimate Caterer has specialized in weddings for more than twenty years; its professional staff will help you customize your wedding. Specialties include Châteaubriand and Chilean sea bass. Packages can include rentals, wait staff, tents, dance floors, and complete coordination. Prices range from $65 to $105 per person. They can also suggest locations for your event. Kosher, vegetarian, and traditional ethnic menus are available. They are the exclusive caterer for the Bonnet Island Estate.
southern n.j.

Antony and Cleopatra
2379 South Black Horse Pike
Williamstown
856-629-2211 or 856-939-0511
antonyandcleopatracaterers.com

Located on a 20-acre property, landscaped with beautiful wedding photos in mind, Antony and Cleopatra Caterers can accommodate indoor or outdoor ceremonies, cocktail hours, and receptions.

Catering by Masso's
210 South Delsea Drive, Glassboro
856-881-6855
massoscatering.com

Masso’s Caterers has three area locations with a total of five party rooms to fit any reception, and they can provide off-site catering. The caterer also owns five manicured park settings with gazebos and a waterfall for outdoor ceremonies. Masso’s specializes in Italian-American cuisine and can create a menu to suit any taste.

Craig Brothers
Lobster Bakes Company
Cape May
609-884-5697

This catering company provides traditional clam and lobster bakes for wedding and rehearsal dinners and other special occasions. Lobster bakes can be transported to any site, and Craig Brothers can recommend shore locations and can arrange for tenting, rentals, and entertainment.

Paris Caterers
109 North Black Horse Pike, Blackwood
856-374-2000
paris-caterers.com

Paris Caterers at the Palace is dedicated to providing superior service to every guest that enters its doors. Their wedding consultant’s personal supervision of your wedding reception will ensure a smooth and error-free event, while the dedicated kitchen and banquet staff ensure your wedding day is truly special for you and your guests.

Summit Catering
West Berlin
856-768-8003
summitcatering.com

The elegant rooms and all-inclusive packages have kept this family-owned caterer popular for more than 18 years. Picnics, pig roasts, and luaus are available. Ballrooms in Haddonfield, Collingswood, Marlton, Medford, and Palmyra.