This is a common fear that many brides encounter. After all, what plays well to group of twenty-somethings at one o’clock in the morning is not exactly the same material you’d want retold at your wedding. As much as he may think otherwise, that hysterical story from college fraternity days just won’t have the same effect when told to 200 of your closest friends and family. And your wedding day is certainly not the time for you to hear of prior antics for the first time.

So read through our suggestions, and emphatically insist that the best man follow our simple guide to writing a toast so that it will be memorable for all the right reasons. And remember that wedding toasts are not what they used to be. These days it’s all about creativity and “customizing” all the details of your day. So if you really can’t trust the best man with the mike, get in on the act and toast each other!

Don’t Drink & Toast

Certainly we’ve all witnessed the nightmare of a best man who’s had one too many toasting the married couple. This is clearly not what you want your guests to remember about your wedding day. In fact, Diana Crisci, senior vice president of catering sales at Ome Caterers in Manhattan and Whippany (973-560-4540; omecaterers.com), has seen her share of forgettable toasts and says it’s critical to stay sober until after you’re finished. Crisci also suggests the following dos and don’ts:

• Do keep your jacket and tie on (if you are the best man) or at least stay as put together as possible.
• Do wish the happy couple a lifetime of happiness. It’s best not to say anything about children, as that can sometimes be a sensitive issue.
• Do share a sweet story about either or both, keeping it simple and tasteful.
• Don’t talk about ex-boyfriends or girlfriends.
• Don’t be negative.
• “Be sure to tell your band leader or deejay that they should not allow any other guest to give a toast without discussing it with you first,” adds Crisci.

The ABCs of Wedding Toasts