While the rule of thumb is to have all of the thank yous done and in the mail six weeks after the wedding, taking the time to make them personal and memorable would be more worthwhile, even if it takes a bit of extra effort. If ever in doubt, imagine yourself on the receiving end—you’ve undoubtedly received a poorly written thoughtless note or two in your day, right? Alternatively, haven’t you also gotten a touchingly sincere note for something you’ve given or done for someone? You know, the one that practically brings a tear to your eye. Your job is to make each and every guest feel that special. After all, these are the folks who supported you throughout your romance and engagement, and splurged on something new to wear to your wedding, and went shopping for probably an hour or two to find you the perfect gift.

The truth is, it’s not hard. You don’t need to be an English major to express your sincere gratitude in a lovely heartfelt note. We’ve put together a few basic pointers to guide you with extremely important process:

Repetition Works! Once you’ve got the basic formula down, repeat it. Remember, your guests are quite unlikely to “compare notes,” so the same basic format can be used again and again. Here’s a deconstructed template:

Dear Aunt Carol and Uncle Bill, (Informal is OK unless it was a formal affair. In either case, you might want to use the more formal “Mr. and Mrs. William Harris” on the envelopes).

Thank you for the lovely platter! (Come right out with an enthusiastic thank you.)

Tim and I plan on using it for special occasions…(This gets your husband in on it and puts the item to good use.)

…like dinner parties, birthdays, and take-out pizza night. (A small dose of humor shows that you really like the platter.)

We were so thrilled that you were able to join us for our wedding; it meant the world not only to me but to our parents as well to have you share our special day. We are truly thankful to have an aunt and uncle like you! (Acknowledge your guests’ time and participation. Remember, “presence” beats “presents.”)