Your wedding ceremony (and who you choose to perform it) should be a perfect fit for you and your husband-to-be. Happily there are lots of options, from traditional religious celebrations in your hometown church or temple, to non-denominational services performed by interfaith ministers at a location of your choosing.

Whatever option, plan on carving out some time to meet with your prospective officiant to find out about the kind of service they can perform for you, and what they require in terms of preparation and paperwork. Your initial meeting is also your opportunity to see how you and your fiancée feel about the officiant, as comfort is key.

For couples considering a Catholic ceremony, there may be three or four meetings with the priest. According to Peggy Gelnaw, wedding coordinator at the Church of Presentation in Upper Saddle River, during these meetings the priest will discuss the meaning of the sacrament, what you have to look forward to, and things you both should think about and discuss privately, like finances and communications, as well as your choice of scripture, secular readings, and music. “I relish the time I spend with each couple, and am delighted to be involved,” says Reverend Robert Stagg. Remember, you’ll also need to fulfill pre-Cana requirements, which might be offered only two times a year, so advance planning is critical.

“My objective is to make this the most spectacular ceremony that you can imagine,” says Rabbi Dennis Tobin of Maplewood, who is also a cantor. The process begins when Rabbi Tobin meets with you and your prospective groom. “We talk about their commitment, their relationship, and where they envision themselves to be in two, five, and ten years in the future.” Rabbi Tobin, who performs traditional, interfaith, or contemporary ceremonies, recommends making the first meeting about eight to nine months prior to your wedding date to give all parties adequate time to get to know each other.

“It is very important to remember that first and foremost this is your ceremony—the words and ideas should be of value to you,” says Nancy Weber, an interfaith minister based in Denville, who has been performing weddings since 1980. “It is supposed to be a day of love and warmth. The officiant can help create that environment, which will take you beautifully through the rest of your day.” While she is happy to develop a memorable ceremony, Weber, who has co-authored a workbook, Compose Your Own Wedding Ceremony, suggests that you choose readings or poetry that resonate—whether you pull quotes from American Indian lore or the writings of Kahlil Gibran or Marianne Williamson.

With your input, you can have a moving and inspirational beginning to the perfect wedding day.