“After the bride herself, the mothers of the bride and groom are the two most important women at the wedding,” says Nita Novy of Nita Ideas in Millburn (973-379-7711; nitaideas.com). “They are the supporting players in this production—the grande dames—and, next to the bride, they should be the most carefully dressed and coiffed ladies in attendance. After all, were it not for the moms, the wedding wouldn’t happen in the first place.”

Let’s face it, this is a huge day for mothers, but often their dress selection is dependent upon the style of the bride’s dress, as well as the color of the maids’ gowns. What’s a mother to do? Now some moms are taking the lead by selecting their dresses early in the game, well before bridesmaids’ gowns are chosen.

“Too often I encounter a mother who really wants to wear berry, for example,” says Novy, “but has to put it back on the rack because the maids have already selected that color.”

She notes that bridesmaids seldom wear their gowns more than once, while a mother will enjoy her gown on subsequent occasions—and every time she wears it, she will glow from the memories of her child’s wedding. “That dress will mean a lot to her, and she should really love it,” adds Novy.

Nita Ideas occupies a 3,000-square-foot showroom, brimming with one-of-a-kind pieces. The collection, Novy’s compilation of 20 years of designing, includes more than 800 original patterns. “Whether you prefer tailored or extravagant, simple or lush, we have something special,” she says.

Judy Fletcher owns the Wedding Store at Liz Clinton in Andover (973-786-5330; myweddingatlizclintons.com), and is the third generation in a family business started by her grandmother in the 1940s.

To avoid issues of who chooses their dresses first, the Wedding Store specializes in selling to brides, moms, and maids all at the same time, and coordinating all accessories and flowers as well. “Sometimes the mothers of the bride and groom will browse together,” says Fletcher, “but the bride usually returns with them because, let’s face it, she ultimately calls the shots.”