When Tara McCarthy, an atheist, from Livingston, married Adam Shuzman, a secular Jew, they wanted a non-religious ceremony that focused on their relationship. They were married by a non-denominational minister, April Beer of West Orange, who recounted their courtship and performed rituals from her Irish and his Jewish heritage that had meaning for them. “It was more personal and really about us and not about religious tradition,” says McCarthy. “It didn’t follow a script.”

Beer says couples often overlook the ceremony because they’re unaware they have choices, especially if they’re marrying in a church or synagogue. She works with couples to create the ceremony they want. “I don’t do one size fits all,” says Beer. “I don’t do fill in the blank.”

People, places, and things can make a ceremony stand out. While marrying a couple at the horse farm where they met, Beer performed a ritual in which the reins from the bride’s horse were wrapped around the couple’s hands. “It’s a way, besides their love story, to show the couple coming together,” Beer said.

Officiant Celia Milton of North Haledon married a groom who wore his late father’s sneakers and another who used his father’s fishing hat to hold the wedding programs. The objects often tell more about the missing relative than just mentioning their name during the ceremony, says Milton.

Sarabeth Abrams of Williamstown and her groom, Edgar Collazo, included their nearly two-year-old foster son, Angel, in their 2007 ceremony at the Camden Aquarium. After they exchanged vows with each other, they held the boy in their arms and said vows to him.

“The ceremony was for him. Otherwise we would have eloped,” said Abrams, who has since adopted Angel. “It was to show him our commitment to not only each other, but to him.”

Music also makes things memorable. Lainie Gutterman of East Brunswick, who walked down the aisle last year with her mom to “Endless Love,” chose special songs for the rest of her bridal party, too. In walked her groom, Scott, and his parents to “Cat’s in the Cradle,” her ring bearer to the theme from “Star Wars,” and her sister, the maid of honor, to “Pretty Woman.”

“Each song distinctly represents the people who were under the huppah with us and play such meaningful roles in our lives,” says Gutterman, who had a traditional Jewish ceremony. “I really wanted to personalize everything.”