December 30, 2009

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When imagining their wedding, Jaishree and Rishi Bhattacharyya of North Brunswick felt the more intimate, the better. “We wanted something private, just for the two of us,” says Jaishree. They got their wish: The couple exchanged vows in a private civil ceremony outside the Cape May County courthouse on September 30, 2009, and a couple of months later held a larger family celebration. The ten-minute ceremony was everything they’d hoped for. “It was very sweet and emotional. Our vows talked about love, sharing, and caring for one another,” says Jaishree.

Photo by Craig Collins.

Tracie and Brad Esporrin at their May 2009 ceremony in Beach Haven.

Whether you tie the knot at the county clerk’s office, have the mayor to do the honors at town hall, or say “I do” in a judge’s chambers or your own backyard, there are many options for civil ceremonies in New Jersey—and many reasons that couples choose them. “Some people don’t want a religious component, so they ask me to perform the wedding,” says Rita Marie Fulginiti, county clerk for Cape May County, who has performed more than 360 civil wedding ceremonies since taking office in November 2005. “Sometimes a couple has a civil ceremony because it’s a second marriage. Other times, they just prefer the simplicity of it.”

The economy also can prompt couples to choose a civil ceremony. “I’ve had brides who wanted a wedding for 200 people but when they figured out how much it would cost, they decided to do something smaller,” says innkeeper Bette Van Liere, who plans civil ceremonies at the Williams Cottage Inn on Long Beach Island.

If you opt for a civil ceremony, the main task is to find an officiant. Many people assume that will be a justice of the peace, but that position doesn’t exist in New Jersey. Here, though, there are many other officials who can legally marry a couple. The list includes mayors, deputy mayors (when authorized by the mayor), county clerks, surrogates of any county, chairpersons of township committees, village presidents, United States magistrates, some judges, retired judges in good standing, and ministers of every religion. (For details on which judges can perform marriage ceremonies, go to state.nj.us/health/forms/reg-d30.pdf.)

If you want to be married by a mayor, deputy mayor, or judge, check with their individual offices to find out if they perform weddings and what their availability is. Need other options? The municipal registrar, to whom you apply for your marriage license, can usually provide you with a list of officials and ministers in your community who will perform ceremonies, says Fulginiti. The ceremony fee you’ll pay depends on who presides, and can range from free to a couple hundred dollars.