How Many? Tradition dictates that the bride and groom have one attendant for every 50 guests—more for a formal fete and less for a more casual affair. But, as with most things “wedding,” traditions can and have been altered. The bottom line is it’s up to you. Before you start ringing up your 30 closest friends, though, consider the logistics. More attendants mean more opinions, so trying to reach a consensus on a bridesmaid’s dress might be challenging. A large bridal party also means more people to organize. Before adding more attendants, ask yourself questions like “Is there enough room for my bridal party at the altar?” or “How many cars will I need to transport everyone from the church to the reception?” And don’t forget your budget. Remember who is buying the attendants’ flowers, gifts, and photos—you!

Who? Don’t make hasty decisions, and don’t make assumptions. Just because Carla from Accounting had you in her wedding doesn’t mean you have to ask her to be in yours (unless you want to, of course!). Obligatory choices should be low on the list of potential candidates or should be left off altogether. In other words, you really don’t have to ask the best man’s girlfriend if you don’t want to or even your fiancé’s sister, if you aren’t that close. Remember, the bridesmaids are your girls. Surround yourself with attendants who will be supportive and helpful, but also honest enough to tell you that the puce table linens you’ve been eyeing for the reception look horrendous with your color scheme. Think, too, about how their personalities will mesh and how well they work with others. One rogue bridesmaid can wreak havoc on an otherwise well-planned wedding.

Details, Details. As you compile your short list, keep in mind a few important points:

• Be clear about duties. Let your maid of honor and bridesmaids know exactly what you’d like them to do. However, even though you are running the show, don’t let good manners or diplomacy go out the window (Remember those episodes of Bridezilla?) Being a bridesmaid is voluntary, not mandatory. Saying “thank you” sooner rather than later and showing your appreciation goes a long way in ensuring a harmonious wedding party!