Think small. Not their size, but the number of children you choose to have in your wedding party. The big day can be stressful on its own—now imagine trying to keep 10 kids organized and under control. Doesn’t sound pleasant, right? Instead, choose one or two (three tops) children that you and your groom feel closest to.

Set limits. Even if you and your fiancé come from big families, don’t feel that you have to include all of the children in the party. One couple with a lot of nieces and nephews simply asked the oldest child from each family to be attendants. Each family was represented at the wedding, so no one was offended.

Go older. While you’d love for all of your guests to “awww” at the sight of your six-month-old niece being carried down the aisle, babies and toddlers in the wedding party mean there’s a greater chance for crying/screaming/tantrum-throwing during your ceremony. Many experts suggest only choosing kids ages four and older to participate.

Remember, they’ll be at the reception. Etiquette states that if you have a child in the wedding party, then you must invite them to the reception (or at least leave the decision of whether or not they should be sent home to the parents). Be sure to choose kids who you believe can behave themselves for at least most of the day, and be prepared to offer kid-friendly features (a special menu, entertainment, even a professional babysitter) at the event.

Don’t expect perfection. No matter how much you practice with them before the big day, you just can’t predict what a child will do when their big moment arrives. Some get stage fright and refuse to walk down the aisle, while others are incapable of standing still for photos. If you want your day to go exactly as planned, child attendants aren’t for you.