While she may be relegated to tying tulle, making your hair appointments and acting as a sounding board for your complaints about your future in-laws, remember your day is about he, too. One way to celebrate her “mother of the brideness” is to make her feel special while she is looking for the all-important dress.

Plan a mother-of-the-bride luncheon. Allison Sargent of Allison Sargent Events in Montclair suggests inviting your mother’s closest girlfriends, sisters, and other family members to gather for food and drinks. Ask each person to bring a few tear sheets of ideas for what your mom should wear—humorous suggestions are welcome. Or, make an appointment at a boutique and invite the whole crew to come shopping with you and your mother after lunch. Women love other women’s input, and this is a fun way for her to get ideas from the people she trusts most.

Choose a dress as one of a kind as she is. If your mother has a specific style in mind and just can’t find her dream dress, consider having one made. Believe it or not, having a designer dress interpreted by a talented dressmaker can be budget friendly. According to Sargent, when interpreting a designer dress, a lot of money can be saved through fabrication. Not only will the custom design save money, but your mom will really feel special wearing a one of a kind dress.

There are a few things you may want to keep in mind while accompanying your mom in this process:

Remind her she is a hot mamma. Today’s mothers are putting more energy into how they look and thinking about hair, makeup, and accessories than ever before. Your mom may be concerned with blending in with the style of your event but also what is appropriate for a mother of the bride to wear. Remind her that it’s her day to look sexy and confident—not dowdy. Save those traditionally shapeless, two-piece beaded muumuus for the grandmothers, and help your mom play up her assets. Got great gams? Have her try on a cocktail dress. Shapely shoulders? Go for an off-the-shoulder style. Help your mom see herself the way others will see her.

It’s not all about you. The easiest way to give you mom a memorable dress shopping experience is to avoid saying two little words—I and me. This may be difficult, as most brides grow dependent on these words during the wedding-planning process. But while looking for a mother of the bride dress, listen to what she wants. Forget what you want her to wear; if your mom is comfortable in her dress, she will look confident and happy in all your pictures.