By Sharon Naylor

Your mother is just as excited as you are about finding the perfect gown or dress for your wedding, so you can help her choose the perfect style for your big day. A few things you need to keep in mind:

Mom can follow the exact same process that you did by looking at websites and bridal magazine ads to get a feel for the current trends and silhouettes available to her. Mom’s fashion is sophisticated now, so she’ll be thrilled at her choices.

Let your mom know that she doesn’t have to be matronly. She should wear whatever style feels most comfortable, provided it fits with the formality and style of your wedding celebration. Some moms feel best in modest gowns, while others have worked hard to stay in shape and they want something that shows off their figure in a stylish way.

Mom shouldn’t out-do you, though. If your gown is simple, hers shouldn’t be overly ornate. An elegant gown always looks best. A stylist or gown shop owner can advise on the best complementary style to your dress.

“The bride needs to think about her mother, not herself,” says Nita Novy, owner of Nita Ideas in Millburn. “The bride should take a step back, so that her mother can consider the colors she appreciates, those that flatter her.”

The mothers don’t have to match in colors and style. If your mother wants to wear a beautiful ice blue while your groom’s mother wants to wear a chic black, there’s no need to ask one mother to sacrifice her wish.

Make sure there’s a comfort factor. Accompany your mom on this dress-shopping excursion—with lunch or coffee planned for afterward—so that you can give your honest opinion on each dress contender. In each, your mother should see if she feels comfortable walking, sitting, and reaching her arms up as if for a hug or a dance. A seamstress will, of course, alter the dress she chooses, but she can tell a lot about a good dress style from this initial “movement test.”

Take photos of your mom in each dress if she’s having trouble deciding, and note which dress shop each dress is in for when you return.

And have patience. Some Moms report that they visit more dress shops and try on more gowns than their daughters. So expect that this task might take a while… but it will be worth it.