Tina
LaMorte started Oh So Fabulous (201-981-7280; ohsofab.com)
in 2003 after a career in advertising and marketing in NYC. She got tired
of the 9-5 and quit to pursue her desire to bring gorgeous and unique
weddings to couples. Oh So Fab is known for whimsical and dynamic events
that are never cookie cutter and are always on the pulse with the latest
trends in the bridal industry. Taking cues from fashion and interior
design, Tina and her fabulous staff enjoy taking risks and pushing the envelope
with their event design. Tina loves her role as a wedding designer, but
her best production yet is her son Charlie, whom she loves to death,
along with her husband, Danny.
I
love the idea of a pink wedding—pink dresses, pink flowers, pink
tables, and even a pink groom (well, actually just his tie). But my
fiancé is afraid of it turning into a girly event. Any ideas
on how I can get him to come around?
Pink
can be scary for some men. If you really love the color and you want to
infuse it into your wedding design, here are some ways to make your wedding
pink without being too girly.
First, try pairing it with a more masculine and dominant color like black
or navy blue. The contrast of pink with either of those two very dramatic
and dark colors will definitely tone down the *girly* feel of the wedding
and it will look very rich and quite chic.
Another option is to limit the use of pink to only certain aspects of the
wedding. You might want pink EVERYTHING but sometimes too much is
exactly that...TOO much. You might make a bigger impact with unexpected
splashes of the color pink with maybe just the linens and flowers. You might
not need EVERY single piece of stationery the day of to be pink, and you
might not have to have every bridesmaid wear the same pink gown. Switch
it up, because sometimes a little color goes a long way and makes a bigger
impact.
I
want to truly go out of my way and specially thank my parents at the
reception, in front of everyone, for all that they've done. Do you have
any ideas on how I can do this?
Something
really gorgeous and thoughtful that you can do for your parents is have
their old Super 8 home movies or vintage photographs from their wedding
made into a DVD that you can show to your all the guests at your wedding
as a surprise tribute to your parents. It's a very special and sentimental
way to make a few moments at the wedding about them, and to really focus
on their lives together and pay tribute to the example that their love has
been for you and your fiancé. Many videography companies will
be able to create a short DVD for you.
I'm
terrified that my fiancé's best man will give an inappropriate
toast at our reception. Do you think it's OK for me to skip this tradition
or should I ask to see a copy in advance?
This is a difficult situation. On the one hand, you don't want to be the
*bad girlfriend/wife* and police your fiancé’s friend’s
actions, even though sometimes it is completely warranted! You risk being
labeled a *bridezilla* and a control freak if you approach the best man
yourself and ask to see a copy of the speech. I also think skipping
the tradition is a mistake because it will cause tension between your fiancé and
his best man, and that isn't good for anyone.
My advice is to give someone else the dirty job of making SURE his speech
is up to par, and definitely not rude or inappropriate. Perhaps ask another
groomsman who is more mature and trustworthy to confront him about it, or
even better ,put your fiancé in charge of it; in reality this is
his friend and should be his responsibility to make sure he doesn't do anything
to disrespect him, his family, or you and your family.
I
love the beach, whether it's the Jersey Shore, the Caribbean, or Hawaii.
Although my wedding will be taking place in my hometown, far away from
sand and surf, what touches can I use to give it a tropical feel?
We
had this challenge this past year for a bride and groom getting married
at a synagogue. Though the space was gorgeous, it definitely didn't have
the South Beach ambiance that they were trying to achieve. We brought the
beach to their wedding by focusing on the colors that really embodied our
vision of South Beach. We used white as our backdrop and accented with unusual
color pairings like bright peach, turquoise, and brown—all colors
you wouldn't expect to see in a synagogue in winter, but it worked because
the guests knew the love that the couple had for South Beach and it was
sort of a mini destination wedding right in their hometown. We created fun
little take-aways for the guests, which included gorgeous hand-painted beach
wraps that had tags on them that read *for your shoulders tonight; for the
beach tomorrow* and we sent every guest home with a surprise valet favor
that was packed in a small pail.
I would suggest trying to really think of what you love about those far-away
places—whether it be a color or a scent or a particular food. Focus
on that, and keep it authentic. Don't go overboard, because then your décor
can begin to look a little too much like a backyard luau, rather than an
elegant wedding. Bring in subtle elements like tropical flowers, frozen
drinks, and fun favors that exemplify anything you love about the beach,
like monogrammed towels, raffia bags with a *beach survival kit* complete
with suntan lotion, a new best-selling suspense novel, and a mini battery-operated
fan. Transport your guests to the place that you love, while still maintaining
the integrity of the venue that you have chosen to have your wedding at.
Julia Erlichman started Julia & Friends Event Management (201-653-3500; juliaandfriends.com) in 2000 after working in the non-profit arena creating fun, stylish events for thirteen years. Since then, she has taken her years of experience and planned weddings of every style and budget. Although she is known for her experience with beach and tented weddings, she can bring her fun and flair to any wedding venue. Julia will help you every step of the way to create the wedding of your dreams.
We are financing our wedding 100 percent, but have very vocal parents who are insisting on certain elements. While we’ve politely told them that we’d like to do the wedding our way, our intentions seem to have gone unheard. Do you have any advice on what we should do?
It’s always a delicate balance between what you want and what your parents want for you at your wedding. Even though you are paying for the wedding, I think it’s a nice gesture to incorporate something important to your parents into the ceremony or the reception. There is always a way to keep both sets of parents happy—maybe it’s some music, a special dance, or an entrée selection. None of these choices are going to change the feel or uniqueness of your wedding. Try to pick one element, even a small one, to make them happy. It goes a long way to a smooth and wonderful wedding day.
I love monograms—especially my new soon-to-be married one. How can I incorporate this into my wedding?
There are many fun ways to incorporate a monogram into your wedding. You can start with the ceremony programs and menu cards on your wedding day. Use your monogram as the design on the front of your thank-you notes. Cookie companies make awesome favors that can have your monogram on them in icing or can even be in the shape of your monogram. Include them in your welcome baskets, or give them out as favors. Ask for your ice carving during cocktail hour to be your monogram. Some chefs may even incorporate your monogram into a dessert. Lighting companies can light your logo on the dance floor and walls of your venue. Cocktail napkins, matches, and guest towels can all have your monogram on them. Have your monogram used as a design on your place cards. It can also be made out of fondant and used as a design on your wedding cake.
I love the idea of a weekend wedding, but I’m not quite sure how to pull it off. What different events should I be including?
Most of the weddings that I have planned recently incorporate more events into the weekend than just the traditional rehearsal dinner. Quite often close family arrives on Thursday for a Saturday wedding. Have all your errands done and last-minute details out of the way so you can spend quality time with your family and bridal party before your wedding. Plan a spa day for the ladies—more than just manicures and pedicures—and send the guys golfing or fishing. Get together for dinner at a casual place, be sure to include the children, and then take a moonlight cruise or take a sightseeing bus ride – play miniature golf, go bowling, go to a local outdoor concert, pack a picnic.
Recently at Congress Hall, a couple reserved some cabanas for the day after the wedding (this works especially well after a Friday night wedding), and everyone met on the beach in the afternoon. No one wants to go for brunch if it’s a beautiful beach day. On Long Beach Island, one couple rented a house and were staying for the week, so they had platters delivered from a local caterer and had a big party on the beach in front of their house the next day. Most guests had stayed for the long weekend, so they appreciated the beach party, plus it was a great way to visit and catch up with the guests they hadn’t really had a chance to catch up with at the wedding.
Always remember: A welcome basket filled with treats, an itinerary, and best bets for dining, shopping and sightseeing should always be included. Hotels are used to making sure they get to the right guests.
With all of the wedding planning, I entirely forgot to get a gift for my soon-to-be husband. Is this necessary, and if so, do you have any ideas?
I think a gift for your husband is a wonderful, considerate idea. He’s probably been running around doing tons of last-minute errands—all the ones that you didn’t want to do. Give him a great gift that shows him how much you love him and appreciate all he has done. Present it to him at the rehearsal dinner in front of your close family and friends—there won’t be a dry eye at the table. Skip the traditional cufflinks, watch, tie, and golf clubs, and go for something fun, creative, and cool like a personalized sweatshirt with your nickname for him from Neighborhoodies (neighborhoodies.com), an excellent pair of the newest sneakers, or some fantastic cigars (and don’t complain when he smokes them). Or finally get him the dog that he’s wanted (leave him at the breeder until you get back from your honeymoon, but present him with a picture of the pup). Pick out an extraordinary rugby shirt from Polo or an Armani sweater. A beautiful leather jacket is a great gift, too. Treat him to something special that he might not get for himself. It doesn’t have to be the most expensive gift—remember it’s the thought that counts.
Event planner Cheryl R. Larson of Treasured Moments Special Events in Franklin Lakes (201-405-0932; www.specialeventpros.com) offers advice this month to some of your most asked questions and wedding dilemmas. She is a leading wedding and event specialist in the New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut areas, and has worked on a myriad of projects ranging from sophisticated intimate weddings to annual awards dinners and ceremonies such as the United Nations International Day for the Eradication of Poverty. Her specialty is ethnic fusion weddings, themed events, and international affairs. If you’ve got a question of your own for our experts, email it to ask@newjerseybride.com, and we’ll be answering them on a regular basis.
I am a total type-A personality, wanting to micro-manage every aspect of my wedding. But I also want to enjoy myself the day of the ceremony and not worry about the place cards being arranged just so. It there a way to have the best of both worlds?
It’s important for you to let go and enjoy the experience of your wedding day. After you have worked so hard and been diligent to get every detail perfect, you owe it to yourself to truly feel comfortable enough to let your vendors do their part. One important tool that I use is an itinerary of the day’s events. This way everyone is on the same page. If you still are not at ease, take the time to invest in hiring a coordinator for the “day of” services. This way all your details are communicated and executed exactly the way you intended. You can now relax and be the queen bee and not the worker bee.
I am planning on having a makeup artist come to the house before the wedding to do my hair and makeup. I’ve offered her services to my bridesmaids as well, without fully thinking out the idea. Is this something that I should be paying for, or will each bridesmaid know to pay her own way?
Some brides choose to pay for the hair and makeup services as their gift to the bridesmaids. Others give all the pricing and times available to allow the bridesmaids to decide for themselves. Either way is correct, just make sure you communicate your intent clearly and everyone is informed.
Save-the-date cards seem like such a fun idea. Should the style match my invitations, and at what point should I be sending them out?
Save-the-date cards should be sent out four to six months before the wedding. This way you give your guests adequate time to arrange their schedule for your special day. They can match the style of your invitation, or they can be as fun and creative as you wish. The choice is yours, and the options are limitless.
I love the idea of having a themed wedding. What ones are popular right now, and what details do I need to include to pull them off?
The most popular themed weddings right now are a specific color or color combinations. Also popular are the weddings based on a particular era in time, such as Medieval or Renaissance. Then there are the couples that spotlight their heritage as the theme. Focus your attention on one or two elements, and repeat them in different ways throughout the ceremony, cocktail hour, and the reception. Once you choose a focus, the ideas will come.
Event planner Samantha Goldberg of Gold Events in Chester (908-450-9766; www.goldeventsplanning.com) offers advice this month to some of your most asked questions and wedding dilemmas. With more than 15 years of experience, Goldberg has coordinated more than 450 weddings and has been featured on the Style Network’s hit show “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway” for four seasons and “Married Away” for two. If you’ve got a question of your own for our experts, email it to ask@newjerseybride.com, and we’ll be answering them on a regular basis.
I just got engaged, and I can’t wait to start planning everything, but where should I start? Should I buy my dress, book the reception hall, or hire my favorite band first?
The most exciting part of the engagement period is the planning of the wedding. One thing that you must keep in perspective is not to jump into anything until you have a plan of action. This includes a budget and a few dates to start with. The bigger items are usually addressed first. This includes the church or venue, officiant, photographer, and entertainment. Finding the location of the church and or reception are the beginning stages—you cannot plan a wedding with a photographer first. Then once you settle on the foundation (date and location), you can begin discussing colors, décor, and layout, and all of the other fun portions. The rest will follow. This will also keep you in line with your budget.
I'd love to hire a planner for my wedding since I don't have a lot
of spare time, but I'm worried that it will be too expensive. What should I do?
It used to be that planners could only be afforded by the wealthy, but now there are many ways that one can afford to have extra assistance a month prior to your wedding or just for the day of. I like to compare planners to counselors or attorneys. These professions charge by an hourly basis. A planner is only really charging you for time. If you are able to decide what is necessary to keep you organized, you can utilize a planner for only what you really need, thus allowing you to be a guest at your wedding.
I love the idea of a wedding in the Caribbean, but my mother insists that we'll have to pay for every guests' airfare, which just isn't in the budget. Are there etiquette rules regarding destination weddings?
While destination wedding are considered a big trend right now, etiquette applies to certain portions just as if you were having out-of-town guests come to your hometown. Airfare being hosted by the family is not applicable. If you have guests from out of town coming to your wedding in New Jersey, would you have to pay for them also? No. The same rules apply—a welcome reception, wedding, and maybe a brunch after the affair usually suffice and are still considered quite generous and hospitable. Miss Manners would agree with this, too!
I am thinking about a traditional wedding. I have no theme, but I have a thousand ideas. I wish there was a way to do them all without it looking like a circus. What do you suggest?
While it would be nice to incorporate all of your ideas, it may look too hodgepodge. I would suggest picking out your favorite ideas and using some of them at the rehearsal dinner, some at the cocktail hour, and the rest at the reception. Don't worry about a theme—it is really your relationship that sets the mood of the evening. Eclectic weddings are the attention-getters anyway!